EMERGENCY, not satire. BLUE state governors hold the key to stop the assault of constituents. Too much is at risk to wait! Mobilize Blue state National Guards when threatened. Wait until then. The invasion of one state by another is a call to state Governors to mobilize their National Guards to resist an UNLAWFUL assault. The U.S. military should not accept UNLAWFUL orders, and should not be present no matter how good they are at spreading mulch and collecting trash. The sooner we get this over with, the better. This confrontation is coming. It is coming! REMEMBER JANARY 6th! They started this civil war right then. We are stronger now than we will be tomorrow. The confrontation is not a battle or a war. It is a standoff at State borders. One state would be trying to invade another. One is the offender. The other, the defender. Spare me the “you are inciting violence”.
We all know TACO. Blocking a road at the border is not advocating violence, it is moving the conflict from the cities to the border, a much safer place for the state’s citizens. Also, the gerrymander fight is on. There is a new playbook. The old rules have been struck down by the Supreme Court. We need to change the gears here as fast as possible for deadly PREEMPTIVE strikes. Newsom has moved out on this already. Who is next? Hochul. Where are you? NO EXCUSE! Change your state Constitution. Pritzker. What are you doing?
I'm not sure that Trump and the MAGA movement have the strategic level thinking ability to come up with something so complicated. But Schaller is quite right - they'd feel no moral bar about doing something like this and would even say it was morally good and character improving.
Great piece! One possible sticking point in the scenario: What happens when these "young, rural, white men" realize that they are being treated like Black people? They're likely to catch on PDQ, and history shows that white people in general can be very touchy about this: they'll identify with powerful white people who don't care one whit about them rather than people of color with whom they share multiple interests. And these particular white people are very well armed.
Consider the opportunity of making the slave camps reeducation centers, on Chairman Mao’s model but with red, white and blue pride. The slaves will emerge as MAGA stalwarts, prepared to kidnap the ethic group de jour, replenish the slave force, and make America white again (MAWA).
Sadly, this is jaw-droppingly, shockingly, appallingly brilliantly true. I nearly had to slap myself more than once to keep from laughing out loud while reading this. What’s a phrase for the opposite of a guilty pleasure? You really ‘get’ these people, thanks Tom!
Well, they've got it all figured out! And it's consistent with the revised history of slavery in Florida. They must be so proud of themselves - no loose ends. How horrible! Where do these people come from? How and where do they get these ideas? There is truly EVIL in this world!
It is frightening to read this, to bring all of their actions thus far together with this being their goal. I wonder how these individuals who supported Trump/Vance with their votes are feeling about that now? Do any of the Trump voters ever look back at what the Democratic candidate offered, putting aside the fact that that candidate was …gasp..a woman? Think about it!
As brilliant as this plan is, it's incomplete. Remember how Vance and other Christofascists are always banging on about women needing to birth more babies (white ones, of course)? It's time to round up un- or underemployed white MAGA women to work alongside the men—and to give their soldier masters the opportunity to make this dream a reality.
Wow, what a tour de force, Tom!! The satire is superb and I could not help but laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. Attacking JDV was particularly delicious. I just hope that none of the MAGAts find out about your proposal, miss the joke and the knuckle draggers actually decide it's a good idea. Crazy shit has happened since 01/20/2025, you know.
Making Slavery Great Again - It's less outlandish than it sounds.
Once we get all the colored and illegal Hispanics out of the USA, who will pick the crops? Lazy young men in small farm towns, and perhaps all those lazy homeless adults. That argument sounds like it was built on the "foundation" of our GOP "heritage." It does read like some Nazi Heritage Foundation propaganda master plan, does it not?
Thank you, Mr. Schiller. I wish this essay was satire.
EMERGENCY, not satire. BLUE state governors hold the key to stop the assault of constituents. Too much is at risk to wait! Mobilize Blue state National Guards when threatened. Wait until then. The invasion of one state by another is a call to state Governors to mobilize their National Guards to resist an UNLAWFUL assault. The U.S. military should not accept UNLAWFUL orders, and should not be present no matter how good they are at spreading mulch and collecting trash. The sooner we get this over with, the better. This confrontation is coming. It is coming! REMEMBER JANARY 6th! They started this civil war right then. We are stronger now than we will be tomorrow. The confrontation is not a battle or a war. It is a standoff at State borders. One state would be trying to invade another. One is the offender. The other, the defender. Spare me the “you are inciting violence”.
We all know TACO. Blocking a road at the border is not advocating violence, it is moving the conflict from the cities to the border, a much safer place for the state’s citizens. Also, the gerrymander fight is on. There is a new playbook. The old rules have been struck down by the Supreme Court. We need to change the gears here as fast as possible for deadly PREEMPTIVE strikes. Newsom has moved out on this already. Who is next? Hochul. Where are you? NO EXCUSE! Change your state Constitution. Pritzker. What are you doing?
https://hotbuttons.substack.com/p/gerrymander-fight?r=3m1bs
I'm not sure that Trump and the MAGA movement have the strategic level thinking ability to come up with something so complicated. But Schaller is quite right - they'd feel no moral bar about doing something like this and would even say it was morally good and character improving.
Perhaps if one considers MAGA as the Revived Confederacy … in which a return to slavery was a strategy all along.
Great piece! One possible sticking point in the scenario: What happens when these "young, rural, white men" realize that they are being treated like Black people? They're likely to catch on PDQ, and history shows that white people in general can be very touchy about this: they'll identify with powerful white people who don't care one whit about them rather than people of color with whom they share multiple interests. And these particular white people are very well armed.
Kudos, Mr. Schaller. Our era now has its own Jonathan Swift. Brilliant, clear-eyed and fact-based satire.
Tell us more, please.
Consider the opportunity of making the slave camps reeducation centers, on Chairman Mao’s model but with red, white and blue pride. The slaves will emerge as MAGA stalwarts, prepared to kidnap the ethic group de jour, replenish the slave force, and make America white again (MAWA).
And don’t forget the free labor! So patriotic, working for one’s country.
Sadly, this is jaw-droppingly, shockingly, appallingly brilliantly true. I nearly had to slap myself more than once to keep from laughing out loud while reading this. What’s a phrase for the opposite of a guilty pleasure? You really ‘get’ these people, thanks Tom!
Chilling!
Well, they've got it all figured out! And it's consistent with the revised history of slavery in Florida. They must be so proud of themselves - no loose ends. How horrible! Where do these people come from? How and where do they get these ideas? There is truly EVIL in this world!
New slogan: Make America Safe for Slavery Again. Or you could use the slogan to name the Act that makes it official.
MASSA, either way.
It is frightening to read this, to bring all of their actions thus far together with this being their goal. I wonder how these individuals who supported Trump/Vance with their votes are feeling about that now? Do any of the Trump voters ever look back at what the Democratic candidate offered, putting aside the fact that that candidate was …gasp..a woman? Think about it!
Slaves built Trump’s Dubai golf resort. He hankers to own his workers, without all the bother of shortchanging, firing, and replacing them.
Schiller
As brilliant as this plan is, it's incomplete. Remember how Vance and other Christofascists are always banging on about women needing to birth more babies (white ones, of course)? It's time to round up un- or underemployed white MAGA women to work alongside the men—and to give their soldier masters the opportunity to make this dream a reality.
Ha!
Thank you, Tom! I laughed, reread, laughed again. Much needed in these trying times.
Wow, what a tour de force, Tom!! The satire is superb and I could not help but laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. Attacking JDV was particularly delicious. I just hope that none of the MAGAts find out about your proposal, miss the joke and the knuckle draggers actually decide it's a good idea. Crazy shit has happened since 01/20/2025, you know.
Making Slavery Great Again - It's less outlandish than it sounds.
Once we get all the colored and illegal Hispanics out of the USA, who will pick the crops? Lazy young men in small farm towns, and perhaps all those lazy homeless adults. That argument sounds like it was built on the "foundation" of our GOP "heritage." It does read like some Nazi Heritage Foundation propaganda master plan, does it not?